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14 August 2008 @ 04:26 pm
Calling Jim (yes, again)  
 Pam was feeling really restless.  A couple days cooped up in one's apartment does that.  She had spent the whole day coming up with pranks and trying to figure out how the CDC could think this was a quarantine situation.  Apparently, someone had gotten very sick, and everyone somehow had contact with this person, but how?  She could understand the security guard thing, but there were other lingering questions.  She had a slight headache, and rubbed at her temples.  She dialed Jim's number and, listening to it ring, waited for him to answer.
James "Jim" Halpert: angry/coatprankster_jim on August 16th, 2008 08:41 pm (UTC)
Jim's head was on his desk when his phone rang. "Jim Halpert," he said with a dull tone, after picking up the phone. He was getting tired of being in the office with all these people, never being able to feel the actual air in his face. Jim was very close to putting together another round of Office Olympics...but then remembered Michael was still here. He didn't want to even consider all the ways Michael would screw it all up.
pamela_beesly on August 16th, 2008 11:15 pm (UTC)
Pam smiled when Jim answered. "Oh no...you haven't died of boredom again, have you?" Pam sighed, "Oh, Jim. I have a few ideas that might defibrillate your bored heart. It really sucks that you're all stuck together, but maybe we can make this a little less...hard. Shall we?"

After a pause in which she was rubbing the bridge of her nose, she continued. "Did you know that Dunder Mifflin Infinity...in fact, the whole internet, has reached Self Awareness? There are reports of it all over the news that you guys can't watch. People are becoming nervous. What do you think about that?"
James "Jim" Halpertprankster_jim on August 18th, 2008 02:35 pm (UTC)
"I think you just revived me," Jim said, his voice picking up a bit. He looked around to see if Michael was in his office, luckily he wasn't. "You know what really sucks? We all think it's some sort prank or something that Michael pulled. I actually think Kevin is going to try and dig out of here with a plastic spoon."

"The whole internet has reached Self Awareness?" Jim asked. "And Dwight didn't even see it coming. I should call him over here and put you on speaker phone." He laughed softly. What Jim wouldn't give to have Pam there with him...
pamela_beesly on August 18th, 2008 04:23 pm (UTC)
"A prank?" Pam giggled, "Are you sure he's capable of it? I mean...he's usually not too good at keeping a secret. Besides, the CDC called me...though...hmm..." She thought for a moment. The voice on the other end of the line sounded familiar when they called. But, if Michael was in the conference room with everyone when she got the call from the CDC, who could it have been from? "You know, you could be right. This could be an elaborate prank. If that's the case, Michael deserves some serious kudos."

"Well, as long as I can't be there with you, you can definitely put me on speaker phone. He'd probably not believe it coming from you. Though, he has believed some pretty shady things coming from you, Mr. Vampire. But...Well, I did just pull the zombie infestation in New York City thing on him, so he might still be wary. What do you think?"

She really wanted to be in Scranton, quarantine situation or not.

"Also, You should seriously do another Office Olympics. It's at least something. I don't know how I'm going to get the doves to you, though."
James "Jim" Halpertprankster_jim on August 21st, 2008 05:32 pm (UTC)
"I'm sure he's capable of trying," Jim said blankly. "He's seen all the things I've pulled on Dwight, he probably wants to upstage me, and pull everyone in on it." Just the thought of it made Jim angry. "It's almost as if Michael was never taught to be aware of how he effects people." Which seemed to be true at the moment.

Jim laughed. "That's right, he's still on the look out. Dwight still thinks I have some zombie tendencies. Bags under my eyes, always yawning...he must not realize that zombie-ness and being tired are quite similar." He laughed again.

"If I don't do another Office Olympics, I'm moving my desk near Holly and Kelly. There have to be like three or four empty desks that take me away from Michael's gaze." It was a temporary solution, but it could be damaging to Jen...
pamela_beesly on August 21st, 2008 06:32 pm (UTC)
"You and I both know that Michael has a twisted way of thinking about other people, Jim. This might be all fun and games to him, but it's not to any of us. That's why I've devised a plan that will kind of force him to admit to his prank. See, I'm pretending to be really sick. I've planted a little seed in his mind now that he could be becoming sick, too. He'll spill the beans once this starts affecting him, I'm sure. Though, I'm not sure if I'm just playing into his hands or not. That's the thing," Pam sighed, "You never know with Michael."

Pam laughed, "You should totally just send him an e-mail that says 'BRAINS' over and over again. Or substitute other words with 'brains' in regular conversation. Just be careful, he still has the spike thing that he and Creed made. You might be REALLY tired one day, and he'll mistake it for a hankering for the old grey matter."

"Oh my God, Jim! Don't move your desk back there, that would be like mental suicide! Why not just...switch desks with Andy or something. He'll think you're doing him a favor. Though...hey, are Andy and Dwight still talking? I mean...you know...with everything that went on with Angela? Or have they both constructed elaborate death traps for each other yet?"
James "Jim" Halpertprankster_jim on August 23rd, 2008 08:42 pm (UTC)
"It's not that we never know with him, it's that we never know what to expect next," Jim said. "Once he pulls something, we pretty much know what's going to happen. Everything goes downhill."

He laughed again. "I should. Instead of coffee, I say 'brains'. That might put him over the edge. I'll have Kevin or Oscar tape it."

"Dwight is pretending Andy never exsisted, and Andy is pretending like Angela never broke up with him," Jim laughed. "Honestly, I have no idea what they are doing. I've been too busy trying to get Michael hooked on someone else in the office. So far, it's not working. It's like I'm the cool kid that just wants to be left alone...if there ever was such a thing."
pamela_beesly on August 23rd, 2008 11:55 pm (UTC)
"That's true. Which is why I'm starting to suspect Todd Packard involvement, here. There are some things going on that Michael seems to have no idea would happen. I think it's more than just Michael, but I really can't think of why Todd would want in on it. Maybe because he's a jerk." Pam grinned in spite of herself. She hated that man, and every time he visited, she wanted to kick him.

"Or, when you're asking about paper discounts...like, say you need a discount price on cream colored card stock, instead of 'cream' or 'card', say 'brain'. He'll be very suspicious. By the way, how did he ever stop going after you when you pretended to have been bit by the bat? He seemed pretty convinced that time." Pam laughed.

"Poor guy...I mean you, not Andy. Andy is annoying. I don't know what would make Angela decide that Dwight was the better man in all of this. Can you imagine having to make that decision, especially with those two as your options?" Pam laughed, "Anyway, I'm sorry you're so cool. You're way too cool for me, which is why I'm in New York. To become cooler so that when I return, Michael might take the focus off of you for a while. I can't wait to come back."
James "Jim" Halpertprankster_jim on August 28th, 2008 01:49 am (UTC)
"I hate that guy, Pam. With a passion. And you know that I only have three kinds of passion," Jim said matter of factly. "Packard is probably always drunk, so anything that gets him laughing, he'll do."

"Dwight is still suspicious of me. That's why I'm so careful about my pranks now," Jim said. "Ok, I'm not that careful. I'm just more creative. When you get back, I want you to give him something I found. It's classic. Speaking of which, the next Movie Monday we have we should watch Napoleon Dynamite."

"I can't wait for you to get back." There was nothing he wanted more than for Pam to be at that desk 10ft away from him--well, maybe there were a couple things he wanted more... "You know, after this plague things Michael is trying to get us to believe in is over, I'll have to come visit you. You are quite the actress, Pam."
pamela_beesly on August 28th, 2008 02:49 am (UTC)
"The supposed CDC has been calling me more than usual today. Something is up, Jim. I think Todd might be starting to suspect something. If it's even him." She thought for a moment. "Here, I'll play the message that the CDC left on my home answering machine for you. Listen closely...do you think it sounds like him?"

Pam pressed "Play": Ah, yeah...this is the ah...CDC...just ah...checkin in...ah...yer office is...ah...all contagious and...ah...worried that you might be too, so...ah...we're telling everyone to stay indoors. No going outside, sugar. Ah...bye.

"You know," Pam returned the phone to her ear, "I'm pretty sure the CDC doesn't call people 'Sugar'. He usually shows up unannounced, so I don't know his telephone voice that well, but it does sound a bit like the way he sounds in person. What do you think? Have you spoken to the 'CDC' at all?"

"Ooh...you've come up with a prank, haven't you? Tell me! Come on, Halpert, you know I've been dying over here..."

"And you do have to come visit me, Jim. I'm in the running for an emmy. Do you think I should fake my death, though? Or would that be taking it a little too far? You know how Michael is about these things. Though, you could totally pretend that I've died and see if that freaks him out really badly. That might just be what he needs to go over the edge. What do you think? I can't prank him alone, Jim. I need your expertise."