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30 July 2008 @ 11:55 pm
(Open to Jim and The Office)  
Michael had just finished talking to Holly about different things.  Jim had walked in in the middle of their conversation, and after a few minutes he had been ushered out of the room due to the need for privacy between Holly and Michael.  Michael felt bad for Jim, as he considered Jim one of his closest friends and knew that Jim had gone into his office with something on his mind.  Jim had actually said as much.  Michael looked out through his now open door and saw the back of Jim's head, and the solitaire on Jim's computer screen.

"Jim!  Come on in, buddy."  He called.
James "Jim" Halpertprankster_jim on August 1st, 2008 12:55 am (UTC)
Jim closed his eyes, not really paying attention to his solitaire game. Sighing, once again, he stood up after closing the game and walked into Michael's office. Jim closed the door behind him, and took a seat across from his boss. His tired eyes showed throw his long hair that was overdue for a hair cut. He'd have to see if Pam could cut hair the next time he went to see her.

"What's up, Michael?" he asked. Jim pretty much already knew what this was about, he just didn't want to start the conversation.
thegreatscott on August 1st, 2008 01:04 am (UTC)
Michael regarded Jim for a moment after he sat down. He noticed that he looked tired. "What's the matter? Girlfriend keeping you up? You've gotta set limits, my man. Limits." He thought for a moment, then tented his fingers just below his chin.

"Jim, we've got to find a replacement for Pam. As you know, I've decided to transfer her to the New York office. We need to come up with competitions to weed out the weakest links in the office and come up with a really good replacement. We all remember Rachael," he continued, Rachael being the receptionist before Pam, "and we can't go through that again. Who do you suggest? And I mean for the long term, Jim. We're not talking only until September."
James "Jim" Halpert: angry/coatprankster_jim on August 1st, 2008 01:36 am (UTC)
Jim disregarded his first comment. That didn't matter now. "Michael, you can't just transfer Pam over to New York," he said. "I mean, she didn't do anything wrong." Jim had to remember to keep his voice at the regular decible. "If you want to get a temporary receptionist, I'm all for it. Use Jen, or Kelly, or Angela for all I care."
thegreatscott on August 1st, 2008 01:48 pm (UTC)
Michael sighed. The conversation was not going his way. "She acted like Toby, Jim. She went above and beyond her duties because she didn't think I could do my job. I'm offended. If she can show me that she's not going to mother me, I might consider not transferring her. But, as it stands right now, She's staying in New York. Or New Amsterdam. Wherever." He certainly liked to show off his flair for inane knowledge.
James "Jim" Halpert: uuuuhprankster_jim on August 1st, 2008 06:32 pm (UTC)
Jim took a deep breathe. "She wasn't acting like Toby, she was just making sure you were alright, and that things that needed to be done were being taken care of," he said. He leaned forward in his chair, his elbows on his knees. "Michael, she's the best receptionist you've ever had. Why change that now?"
thegreatscott on August 1st, 2008 10:37 pm (UTC)
Michael considered this for a moment. Jim was telling the truth, and he knew it. It was hard for him to come up with a valid reason as to why he had wanted to shake things up. "You're right, she is the best receptionist I've ever had. I've never missed a phone call. She tends to throw out faxes, though." Michael sighed. "I'll level with you, buddy. If you can't find a better receptionist than Pam, then I will consider withdrawing the request for her transfer. But, you have to come up with competitions to weed out the really weak ones. If we're not satisfied by the time corporate approves the transfer and it becomes irreversible, I'll see what I can do. How does that sound?"
James "Jim" Halpertprankster_jim on August 5th, 2008 04:35 pm (UTC)
Better than nothing, Jim thought to himself. "Fine. I'll try and find one. But in the mean time, I don't think you should even temporarily hire Jan, ok? I mean, you never know what could happen with mood swings and such." He'd milk it for as much as he could. "How long do I have?" he asked, already coming up with an idea.
thegreatscott on August 5th, 2008 04:42 pm (UTC)
Michael thought for a moment. "Jan hasn't really been that bad lately. Aside from another broken flat-screen tv..." He trailed off, thought for a moment, and then smiled again. "You have until the 22nd. That gives you...less than two weeks. Daddy needs a new tv. Pam needs to remember what I told her a while back: Her job is to be my friend."
James "Jim" Halpertprankster_jim on August 6th, 2008 06:07 pm (UTC)
Jim nodded, wanting terribly to roll his eyes. "You know, if she breaks tv screens, she probably breaks computer screens too," Jim said. "I wouldn't risk it, but that's just between you and me." Yeah right. He'd be telling Pam everything about this conversation. "I will remind Pam of her job descriptions when we talk next. Is there anything else you want me to tell her?"

Two weeks was just the right amount of time. "Just so I know, what are you looking for in a receptionist?" He'd try his hardest not to be completely off.
thegreatscott on August 6th, 2008 06:44 pm (UTC)
Michael thought about Jan breaking computer screens. "She wouldn't do that, Jim...there would be too many people watching her. She's only a banshee when she's alone. I need to find her a pregnant friend, that way they could be crazy together about Wendy's French Fries and a Chocolate Frosty at three in the morning, when it's not open, and I could be safely hiding in my bomb shelter. Which I constructed...specifically...for this. Anyway, Jim, that's not the point. She needs a job, and you should see her boobs! Perfect for a receptionist position. I mean, the boob job was one thing, but pregnant with a boob job is..." He trailed off and smiled dazedly, "Me likey."

"So IF we're not using Jan, the requirements are that she needs to have nice boobs and not be annoying. Oh, and not always switching the calls to voice mail unless I have her involved in something really important. And she needs a good sense of humor, especially if she'll be working here." Michael sat back, satisfied with himself. He was expecting a new best friend, someone who appreciated his jokes more than Pam did. "And also, you can't get into a relationship with her. I know how you are with the receptionists, Jim. You can't be boinking her just because she has nice boobs and a cute smile...and just about every other guy wants her too..."
James "Jim" Halpert: hmmmprankster_jim on August 6th, 2008 11:10 pm (UTC)
Jim fought back to urge to bring up the dreaded dinner party night. "Whatever happened to using Jen? I thought you wanted her to fill the temporary--" Jim couldn't stress that enough "--spot until Pam got back." If Jim was going to suffer, so was Jen. Such was the life of a big brother.

"I just don't think Jan would be a very good idea, Michael. I mean, what if she goes into labor right in the middle of the day? Who would answer the phones then?" It wasn't that Jim hated Jan, or disliked her in any shape or form. It's that Jan...is Jan. And when attached to Michael at any point, Jan is Jan with Michael, and that wasn't a comfortable thing to deal with. Ever.
thegreatscott on August 7th, 2008 12:43 am (UTC)
Michael thought again for a moment, mumbling, "Yesh...Jen. Are you sure she's ready for such a hurdle? I mean, she's never really witnessed the comic genius of Michael Scott before, and she might not get it. It's not for everyone."

"If Jan goes into labor in the middle of the day, Dwight is a sheriff's deputy and I'm sure he's delivered babies before. He's done everything else. I mean, how hard could it be? I could deliver that baby, Jim, because I'm his father, and I've seen how to do it tons of times on ER. You just yell push a bunch of times and it suddenly pops right out. Simple. I could probably deliver it faster than Dwight. You could tell him I said that."
James "Jim" Halpertprankster_jim on August 7th, 2008 05:35 am (UTC)
"Oh," Jim started, "she's ready." Jen'd seen Pam deal with Michael for a couple months. How hard was it to laugh at his jokes by yourself? "I'm pretty sure she's smarter than you give her credit for, Michael." She is a Halpert, he almost said. But being a Halpert didn't really mean anything here. At Dunder Mifflin. In Scranton, Penn.

"Dwight use to be a volunteer sheriff's deputy, until he quit, remember?" Jim challenge. Surely, Michael would remember that. "But, you're probably right. You could deliver Jan's baby. You probably wouldn't even be bothered by all the blood and other stuff that will come out of her..." A small, evil, smile crept its way up to Jim's lips--before quickly erasing itself.
thegreatscott on August 7th, 2008 01:28 pm (UTC)
"If you think Jen's ready, you can give her a try. She's got nice ridges, if you know what I'm saying," Michael said slyly. "But the second she starts messing up, I want her replaced with a blonde with a hot bod. You get me? We can't afford to lose sales because we've got some beast sitting at reception."

Michael got a snotty look on his face, complete with scrunched nose. "I don't even listen to anything Dwight says. He says alot of things, Jim. Usually about something messed up. Bottom line is he's not as good as me at delivering babies. He could put that in his pipe and smoke it. And there's no blood, Jim. I'm telling you, I've seen hundreds of these things. The babies come out looking a little greasy, but there is no blood. Maybe when you have a baby of your own one day you'll understand."
James "Jim" Halpertprankster_jim on August 9th, 2008 09:46 pm (UTC)
"She's my sister, so no. I don't," Jim said a tad bitterly. Maybe Jen wasn't a good idea...especially if Michael was going to talk like that about her. He had a hard time when it came to Pam, too.

"Michael, did you finish that movie you had us watch?" he asked, remembering vividly the entire thing.
thegreatscott on August 10th, 2008 09:06 am (UTC)
Michael grinned. 'Well, she does have a really nice rack. But, anyway...as long as she can answer phones and look pretty, we can give her a try."

"Oh, the childbirth thing? I realized I'd seen, like, a million births on TV, so I didn't think that I needed to see it anymore." Truth be told, he hadn't made it through a single showing of it without being grossed out or passing out. He was afraid of that video, and regarded it as though it were full of lies and propaganda about childbirth. "What'd you think of it?"
James "Jim" Halpertprankster_jim on August 18th, 2008 02:57 pm (UTC)
Jim tried not to roll his eyes. "That video is definitely something you should watch. Especially if you plan on being there with Jan as she is giving birth." He laid in on thick. Why shouldn't he? "If you want, I'm sure Andy or Dwight would watch it with you." He'd come up with any excuse possible not to watch it. Again.
thegreatscott on August 18th, 2008 04:27 pm (UTC)
"She wants me to go to another lamaze class." Michael mumbled. "They're going to be showing it there next week. I don't get it, you know? All they do is blow air. What's so hard about that?" He thought for a moment, "And, why couldn't men give birth? I can blow just fine. That's what she said. Especially if they did a c-section. Easy."